Did you ever stop to wonder about the difference between being happy and being strong? And especially that we can be both?

Is there a difference between being happy and being strong? 

Is a synthesis between then possible?

In my opinion, of course it is. The problem is

the collective unconscious mind we all share in our culture tends to be dualistic and creates unnecessary dichotomies.

 We can be happy and strong. When cultural distortions become become collective belief systems, we develop this idea that we have to choose between being strong and being happy, because the idea of happiness, or joy, sometimes is linked to the idea of not making efforts, not working, or not dedicating ourselves to something meaningful.

And this really is a very shallow, superficial way of looking at happiness and joy, right?

We can have pleasure, we can rest, we can enjoy all things in life, and we can also spend some of our time dedicating ourselves to projects and be happy in the process.

Most importantly, when it comes to the strength of life and being strong, it's about facing situations.

Strength is about facing challenges and finding solutions.

So the problem is the confusion between pleasure and avoidance - or escapism. Avoiding the challenges of life with temporary pleasure and trying to convince ourselves that avoidance is pleasure, happiness and fun, is what creates confusion in our minds.

Many of us believe avoiding problems or challenges equals happiness, and this is just not true.

And how do we solve or "untangle" this?

First of all, let's start shifting our vocabulary and stop thinking of problems and think of challenges instead. This in itself already starts creating shifts in the subconscious mind.

Our vocabulary is important when we're working with self-development, soul healing and consciousness expansion, so choosing specific words such as "challenges"  instead of problems not only empowers you in a soothing way, but gears you towards finding a solution immediately.

So changing our vocabulary is already a huge game changer for our inner world and brings a lighter way of seeing the world.

Back to the avoidance mechanism, when we avoid "problems" and challenges (to use a better word),

we are not being happy, and we are not being strong either.

Avoidance creates unhappiness.

On the other end of the spectrum, facing our challenges in a stiff, complaining, bitter way is also unhealthy.

It's exactly what creates dichotomy and incompatibility between being happy and being strong.

So how can we call ourselves strong people?

When we take life in its wholeness when we breathe life in and create something with our time on earth that requires our joyful or concentrated effort and dedication.

Something that requires our presence, that requires our true being.

It's not just about automatic work, or following social rules, patterns and collective pressure. That's not what life is, and it's not being strong either. 

When we talk about happiness - true, deep happiness, we can be happy while dealing with the challenges of life. While facing whatever life brings to our path so that we can become strong.

So in this perspective, it's not healthy and makes no sense to think of "strong" and "happy"  as a dichotomy, even we see this understanding in many other perspectives of personal growth.

In our culture and even in therapeutic modalities, a lot of people will say,

"don't try to be happy, just try to be strong. Don't be happy, be strong. Don't put happiness in the equation".

Which is an unhealthy, limited way of thinking in my opinion.

Just as limited, to be honest, as the people who want to be "happy" in avoidance mode all the time. Who want to be "joyful" all the time in an effort to avoid their pain.

These are avoiders of life, which is, if not equally as problematic, possibly even worse than the stiff ones, because that's denial mode (to understand more about this mechanism, check out the book Your Cardinal Connections ) and keeps people in the dichotomy of being happy or being strong.

We need structure in order to feel pleasure. We need healthy survival in order to expand in pleasure and freedom. And these are not dichotomies. They are not "either", "or". It's not about being strong or happy. It's about being both.

We need to dissolve the belief that a strong person can't be happy because he or she is constantly sacrificing himself or herself in survival.

And we also need to dissolve the belief that the happy person is weak and depends on others to live. This is a distorted way of seeing life.

What I believe what we all seek (and different people need different things) is to include strength and happiness in our lives in a very balanced way, and dedicate ourselves to being strong AND being happy.

Those who tend to prioritize their strength and often dismiss their happiness will start shifting, and those who tend to prioritize their happiness and dismiss their strength will change too.

It's about balance, integration, and expansion.

Both types of people need soul healing, and once those beliefs have shifted, once we are strong AND happy, we expand in consciousness and life becomes richer, blissful, meaningful and much more fulfilling.

This is what I wanted to share with you today. Thanks for being here, and if you think someone you know may benefit from this content, share it and expand our life connection energy.

So have a beautiful day, be happy and strong, and I will see you soon!

Much love always,

Paola.